What I’m Feeling
I don’t feel good today. I ate the wrong stuff yesterday, watching the Steelers (oh poor Steelers) game with my best buddies, and carefully eating Chinese food. I was pretty careful about what I ate, but I forgot about the MSG.
My body just hates MSG. I have a migraine problem, and MSG is just a guaranteed trigger substance for me. Why I forget that is the subject of another post, but the point is, I ate it, and now I’m sick.
What I Feel Like Doing
Feeling lousy really robs me of my dieting and fitness resolve. Of course I don’t want to exercise – well can’t because it would make my pain a lot worse – and when I don’t exercise, I feel like a slug. And when I feel like a slug, I start to believe I AM a slug, a big fat slimey mollusk that nobody loves. What’s to love about a slug?
Like the slug, when I’m sick, I want to eat everything in my path, a path from under my covers to the kitchen and back. I don’t want to count my calories, don’t want to choose protein over carbs, don’t want to prepare anything. I don’t want a plate or a fork, but want to sit with a bag or box or carton of something and attack it face-first. I just want to eat, working my jaws until I pass out in a bed of crumbs, my mouth hanging open, curds of half-chewed potato chips mucus-stuck to my chin and chest.
And, well, that’s the mood I’m in today.
I’ve seen this mood before. I have developed tricks that mostly work for me. (And sometimes they don’t work. At that point I fall back on forgiving myself and starting over.) Here’s what I’ll do today.
What I’m Going To Do About It
* No eating in bed.
* Palm Pilot with calorie counter sits the counter in the kitchen so there’s no real excuse for not counting food.
* Twice today I’ll lick a tablespoon of unsweetened peanut butter from a spoon while I wait for frozen lo-carb foods I keep on hand for these occasions to cook.
* Alert my husband I may need help today, he may need to hide the snack basket (I keep chips, crackers, etc. in one big basket that can be hidden by a loved one, removed to the cold gargage or emptied quickly into the dumpster if necessary to help me stay in control.)
* Scented Tea with cream and Splenda. My mom made “pearl tea” for us (tea with lots of milk and sugar) when we were kids. It’s what we got when we were sick. So this version is extremely satisfying. I’m working my way to drinking it without the sweetener. Okay, it’s not quite the same as if my Mom would come back from Florida and fuss over me, of course (Hey, Mommie, where are you?), but pretty close. While licking my peanut butter slowly, I’ll make a good-size pot of Rose-scented Tea, and put it in a thermos to keep warm all day.
* Go to bed and watch an idiotic movie. Rest for your body and brain is a great gift. I sometimes think my migraines are my body’s way of making me slow down. So, you know, when you’re sick, sometimes it’s best to go with the flow.
What You Can Do
Your coping skills for your weak days may look very different from mine. One way to figure out what will work for you, is to. Write It Down. I really am a pushy broad on this subject of writing to discover things.
So the next time you feel weak in your resolve, get out your journal or a pad of paper, and write out what you’re feeling. Then write down what you feel like doing. Then write down a coping strategy – a list of self-loving things you can do instead of the self-destructive behavior you’re afraid of. You might keep that little strategy on file somewhere for the next time you feel icky or weak.
Do you need comfort or a kick in the butt? Do you like to be coddled or left alone? Do you need your dog, your mom, your shrink? Know what you need and make some provisions for having what you need on hand.
Wish me luck today,