Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

A little kid whos embarrassed that hes short, with visions of money and virgins in the next life, agrees to tape a bomb to his body, willing to incinerate this life in hope of a better one.

A girl, embarrassed that shes fat, hides away in a quiet spot, carves deep troughs across her wrists to let this terrible life drain away.

And consider the case of a woman, so embarrassed by her size, she cant sign up for an exercise class or return once again to that diet program. A man, shamed by his lack of strength, cant enter the local gym, or go for a jog or buy barbells.

Embarrassment and shame are deep and difficult emotions, awful in their strength. They kill us in so many ways. Sometimes abruptly cutting a life short, sometimes chipping away at joy and strength, confidence and courage, until the shamed person has nothing left upon which to build a good life, or even an okay life.

When we are fat, unfit, when we dont measure up, we are asked to feel ashamed and embarrassed. We are asked to apologize for ourselves constantly. We are discluded, we walk behind the bus. We dont leave our homes unless we have to. But we are not safe in our homes. There is the media, coming into our livingrooms, enforcing deeper and deeper troughs of shame. The pressure to fit in is relentless.

But no one gains strength or drops weight who is too embarrassed to move about in the world. No one lives in the world who cant leave the house. No one gets help who is too shamed to ask for it.

We need two things to happen here. We need to find the strength in ourselves to quell, erase, muffle our own shame and embarrassment to take on the fullness of life. And we need to take active, deliberate steps to help others silence their shame too.

Each of us can play a part in this. If you have 5 lbs. to lose or 500. If you can run 25 miles in 3 hours or walk 25 steps before collapsing. We are human beings with interesting minds and giving hearts. We need to give to each other and assume from one another the grace of this understanding.

So, our journal assignment today is to spend some time identifying how shame and embarrassment may be stopping you in your own life. Thats part one. Part two is to spend some time figuring out how you can help people overcome their own shame and embarrassment to live fuller lives.

And in particular, I know a lot of Skinny Daily readers are in the business, that is, helping people get fit and lose weight. Id like to put a little pressure on each of you, especially, to consider the folks you serve. Consider who needs you the most. Consider ways to make your services more comfortable and friendly, more welcoming and warm to those with the greatest need. How can you strip all shame from the experience you offer?

Shame, the Quintessential Emotion, psychcentral.com

Healing the Shame that Binds You, John Bradshaw

8 thoughts on “Embarrassing

  1. Midknyt says:

    This isn’t really related to this post, just the site in general. 🙂

    I belong to one of the many online weight loss communities, and when there’s a good one of these or something I post it on the message board. Also, some of the websites you have on the bottom are good ones that I would like ot look at again at another time.

    When you changed to the new site, which is lovely by the way, 🙂 what happens now is everything has the same address- http://www.skinnydaily.com. So if you have a really good site at the bottom I can’t post it and/or save it because the address doesn’t change. Same thing for old posts- it just keeps the same address and shows the most current post.

    So if you could maybe get your techie friends to work on that it would be great. Or if someone could inform me if I’m doing something silly that makes it do this, that would be great too. 🙂

    As for the other changes, I think they’re great. Searching through old posts and the headings on the top were a vast improvement. 🙂

    That’s it. 🙂

    Midknyt

  2. Erna says:

    If you right click on the link and go to properties, the web adress is there and you can copy it Midknyt!

  3. maryam martin says:

    Your words against palestine and the muslim people are a disgrace.Please educate urself futher about Islam before commenting like you did in your fisrt line of this artical.
    I will be joinging many other muslim women world wide and boycott ur site.And inform the community of the insults and ill manners your spreading.
    Its truely disgrcefull that you could even think of typing that artical without knowing the full fact of whats happening to the muslim people.Spreading such words will only cause more problems for people of your maturity level and low personality.
    Bombings in Palestine have nothing to do with peoples weight or hight.Your statement is a cluster of unlawfull lies that you heard up on some western tv show.They (the palestians & muslims) are fighting for freedom in life. something which they haven’t seen in many many years thanks to the opressors of this world the west.

    Islam teaches peace and love.
    Im proud to be Muslim.

  4. JuJu says:

    So sorry to have offended you or anyone by not being more clear with this first line. Of course I am affected by the words of the mother of a boy who had strapped a bomb to his body. It is her belief that this boy, who is teased constantly for his stature, was taken advantage of. I offered two examples of two children who each chose to leave this life for the next without in any way calling into question their belief system. It’s the mother’s pain and her son’s pain that concerned me. It’s their pain in this life that concerns me, certainly not their belief about the next. I apologize for not making that more clear.

  5. gettaclue says:

    maryam martin needs to learn the world does not evolve around the muslim faith and Palistine. Nowhere in the post was anything mentioned about religion or a region of the world. Just because most people realize that strapping bombs to yourself is pretty stupid and it is almost always done in the middle east exclusively doesn’t mean it can’t happen in other places. It is a weight loss article and the writer is a true inspiration to many. Get over yourself.

  6. Trish says:

    What a wonderful post JuJu, as always.

    Midknyt, see the calendar top right? Click on the day of the post you want to link to and it will take you to the permanent link of the post. For the “Embarassing” post, click on April2 and you’ll get what you are after.

    Maryam Martin, I certainly did not read anything in this post which would lead me to JuJu offending ANY race. As Gettaclue wrote, the cultures/religions you mentioned are not the only ones with the issues JuJu was talking about.

  7. Sumayyah says:

    Actually, the line about “….with visions of money and virgins in the next life” absolutely and positively is a stereotype that the Western Media propagates. I do not know which clueless human came up with that line…but it most certainly has nothing to do with Islam.

    I agree with what you said Getaclue about this being a fitness site. I think politics should be left out of it.

  8. JuJu says:

    Thanks, folks.

    For the record, I agree with and understand that what this boy was promised has nothing to do with Islam. Luckily, he didn’t set the bomb off. So, here’s hoping he and his family do find peace in this life. Here’s hoping we all do.

    J.

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