Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

For years and years and years and years I wanted to be thinner. More willowy, lanky, muscular. When I did succeed in losing weight, my wants became more specific. I wanted a better butt, smaller thighs, a tinier waist, more sculpted arms. My body was never good enough, never finished. I never had a moment’s satisfaction or peace in my skin or a day without hunger until I allowed myself to forget all about it and become fat.

Every day that I was fat, I tried to like myself and to convince myself that size doesn’t matter. I didn’t need a thin body. How silly. How frivolous. Life is for living. And living meant eating and eating well. I never completely bought that line of reasoning, either, but I kept trying.

And then I became ill. From lack of movement and too much of the wrong kinds of food, from stress, and from all the bodily abuses of my past, the diets and the diet pills, I became ill.

One day it became clear to me that thin doesn’t matter. Fat doesn’t matter. Alive matters.

Longevity. Comfort. Rest. Clear-headedness. Fitness. Strong bones. Healthy skin. Good blood flow, a strong heart, clear vision, acute hearing. I wanted to move easily, fit in the world. I wanted to go from point A to point B on my own two feet. These things suddenly mattered.

Fitness mattered.

As soon as I made fitness my goal and replaced measures of good health with my dress size and scale readings, an amazing thing happened. I not only felt better, but I began to like and even admire my one and only body. I don’t admire it for its beauty, I admire it for its astonishing ability to heal. I admire it for its ability to do more tomorrow than it can do today. I admire it for its ability to adapt and change and respond. Even a body over 40. Our bodies can do the most astonishing things, it turns out, if we just give them the chance.

Giving yur body a fighting chance takes more focus than it should. There’s a lot of bad food history and habit, bad food advertising and convenience, and so many reasons and ways to avoid moving your body. Making a habit of buying and eating fresh, whole food, including lots of veggies, and finding ways to both exercise daily and be more active throughout your day takes work.

That work doesn’t happen without making a lot of choices, all of them focused on a high priority, a commitment you make to becoming healthy, becoming fit.

Think about that, this week, will you? About committing to fitness, not thinness, and making exercise and movement a means to admiring your body, not loathing it. I will if you will.

Fit or thin? New research findings.

Are you ready for weight loss?, msnbc.com

9 thoughts on “Fit or Thin?

  1. Nicole says:

    Fit is important, thin is just a perk. Today I ran for 45 minutes. This is the first time I’ve ever run so much (with the exception of one run 2 years ago that was about 60 minutes). I’m impressed with what my body can do and how amazing it feels afterward. I figure, if I keep up the fitness, my body will become more toned/thin eventually, but it will always be FIT which is most important.

  2. Val says:

    When I used to be thin, I used to think I was fat. Then I got fat and just hated myself and my body. Now, as I exercise and eat healthy, I have control over my body for the first time. And I am just astounded at the little changes. I have biceps, really, because I can see them. I think I saw my quads emerging from beneath some serious extra energy the other day. My waist is getting little (so I look at and admire my stronger core instead of focusing on the rolls above and below). I love working on being fit; I love feeling better. I am going to appreciate it when I actually get very fit and healthy — for the first time — and not just critique which parts of my body could be more perfect. 🙂

  3. Lauri Som de Cerff says:

    This is the 1st time I have ever responded to anything posted on a website. Today’s posting brought tears to my eyes, because it is so true. “Fat” can be such a state of mind; so much damage has been suffered by so many women for so many years, in the pursuit of thinness. I am 40 and never truly “enjoyed” almost a lifetime of being thin & fit, because I didn’t realize I was. At 39, I ruptured a disk in my back; and now, am happy just to have a body that works. It put things all in perspective.

  4. Sheri says:

    I spent a lifetime dieting but didn’t begin my healthy eating journey until the age of 50. So many people asked me “Why now?” and I said “I had grown complacent about accepting myself as being fat, but I couldn’t be complacent about being dead.” With a family history of just about everything deadly, I was living on borrowed time and I knew something had to change. Now I’m slimmer, more fit, my cholesterol and BP are down, and I, too, am continually amazed at what my body can accomplish (even at this ripe old age (grin)).

  5. Rain says:

    That was a great piece you wrote. And I couldn’t agree with you more. Being in the broadcast industry where skinny girls are put on pedestals, it’s been a struggle to fight the urge to “get skinny” from the athletic person I’ve been for the past few years.
    But it’s true. I realise now that these skinny chicks are weak, most are not even close to being as fit as I am, and in a few years I’ll literally be running circles around them, fit and healthy and strong, rather than be some TV Bimbo who’s resorting to liposuction and plastic surgery to retain their so-called youth.
    Fitness keeps your body beautiful, the best way to battle the horrible effects of aging, keeps you healthy and happy – and goddamn it if you keep this up, ten years down the line you’ll still have the vitality you have now… while your friends are trying hard just to walk up a flight of stairs, or a mere two blocks.

  6. JuJu says:

    Hi everybody. Thanks for a lot of inspiring comments. I can see your biceps from here, every one of you.

    Rain! You’re in such a great position to demonstrate what real beauty is. Use your power for good, girlfriend.

    I’m sore from squats today. But I can do squats!? Who would have ever thought?

  7. Rain says:

    Thanks, JuJu, in fact there have been quite a number of encounters with viewers who have commented on how “fit” I look and how it’s a refreshing change from the typical thin chicks on TV. Most of them are girls – the guys are of course, useless horndogs who still prefer their women to be as unreal (read: Barbie-esque proportions) as they come hahaha.

  8. Leanne says:

    I’m committed to good health, and I’m convinced that that is why, when all those years of diets and starvation attempts failed, now I am finally succeeding. You see, now I have a vested interest in good health. I have a baby son, and I want to live well and healthily, and to see him well into old age.

    I want to give him good dietary habits, and I realised that the best way to do that was to be a good example myself. I wanted to give him good health before I even got pregnant, and I realised that to have a healthy baby I had to be healthy myself.

    I realised that the best gift I could give my son was a happy, healthy mother, and good health and habits for himself. I couldn’t skimp on either and be a good parent. Being the best parent I could be meant respecting my body and loving and teaching him to respect his. He’s only 13 months, but already he has excellent eating habits, and I hope that the example and habits I am teaching him will stand him in good stead for a lifetime of lean, healthy fitness.

    And I will be glad, and proud, and filled with love, because I will know that I did the right thing.

  9. Kristi says:

    I relate so well with what each of you are saying. The focus has to be on fittness for longevity. Like Laurie, I too never realised I was thin when I was thin. I’m restarting my journey at 41, 25# overweight, but my head thinks I’m beautiful. It’s my knees and back that are begging me to love myself more deeply. Good luck to all.
    Kristi

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