Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

Just when you think you understand yourself, along comes another curveball. Fat people have the reputation of having cheery personalities, by and large. And we all know that it takes a lot of emotion-swallowing to do that. Paste that smile on your face! Do what you have to so that everyone else is taken care of and content! Be a people-pleaser, because many people see no reason to have a fat person around and ya gotta give them one, even if itís just because the fat person will be jolly.

My recent focus has been on not swallowing my emotions. Needless to say, I havenít been comfortable. But whatís amazed me the most is that Iím acting differently! Iím not smiling as much or telling jokes. Iím not asking people how they are. Itís not that I donít care, itís that I donít feel like being cheerful and involved. I donít want to get involved in their emotions, as Iím having enough trouble with my own.

A personality change? Nope! For the first time [perhaps] just being myself, without the people-pleaser persona. And Iím actually cranky! Edgy. Tense. Not relaxed. Not the go-with-the-flow type Iíd always thought I was. And Iím speaking up rather than accepting the unacceptable. I always figured no one would want me around if I wasnít happy happy happy. The truth is, they want me around anyway. Even a bit cranky.

The unexpected result: no munchies. No cravings. In fact, I fell asleep without eating last night [and have been paying for it today, but thatís ok].

Now, I have to figure out just who this person is and what she needs. Obviously, sheís been trying to get out for many years.

What would it be like for you to drop the people-pleasing attitude? Is it really YOU, or is someone else tucked in there? Trust me, I had no idea that this was happening. Quite unexpected. Letís consider it a gift!!!

9 thoughts on “A Little Cranky?

  1. Janie says:

    Good post Jane. I’m also a little cranky today, but I noticed it didn’t upset my staying on program. We worry so much about our families and taking care of others that we put ourselves last. I went out and got my hair done today and didn’t feel guilty about it one bit. It was a good therapy session with the hairdresser and I felt great. I came back home and walked almost 3 miles to my walk tapes – much better than the usual 1 mile. Taking good care of ourselves is the best gift we can give to others.

  2. jonquil says:

    WooHoo! I’m so glad for you, Jane. This is the road ahead. And take it from me, being a b***h is its own reward, lol!

  3. sara says:

    It is great that you are getting to know who you are and to grow some confidence with that.

    For me the problem with being cranky is it feels like the hulk is inside me just waiting for someone to set it off. I have been known to get a muffin before a meeting so I don’t speek what I am feeling and the office does not see me turn green and grow ten feet.

    I also eat when I feel “off”. Something is not right, I have no idea why I feel that way, I just do. I know this is not really on topic, but my problem is finding why I am “off”

  4. Polly says:

    Cheers to your efforts Jane!

    I recently have become much more conscious of NOT apologizing for everything. I discovered that I was saying “sorry” for so many things that had little or no relation to me! Then I noticed other women around me apologizing for all sorts of things beyond their control.

    Strange and sad isn’t it?

  5. syd says:

    Yes, actually. I’m going through this right now. Normally quite diplomatic, I’ve found that I have no diplomacy left. I’m done. Edgy. Angry and saying so. No, I’m not hungry. Not at all.

  6. Cessie says:

    I get scared sometimes that I won’t find a balance between being positive and being a chronic complainer. I know that have major chronic complainer qualities, lol, so I’ve tried so hard to compensate for those by being the people pleaser. Everyone else comes first, I’m always the cheerful, helpful one, putting my own needs aside and being the sounding board for their problems. Never thought of it, but now I realize it does affect my dieting because I end up sneaking chocolate and comfort foods at night to soothe my own hurts because I am so spent from taking care of everyone else. I’m going to try to find a better balance. Thanks for the wake up call!!

  7. marisa says:

    I’d love to hear more about this, Jane. I’m also becoming much more outspoken. My husband used to say years ago, “Why is it so important to you that everyone like you?” These days it seems more important to be myself, and say what I think, than to keep a smile on my face and never say anything that anyone else might disagree with.

  8. Steph says:

    I don’t know, maybe I’m alone in this, but the whole idea of my personality changing with weight loss kind of freaks me out. I don’t want that. I feel like I’m laid back, and I like being laid back, and and fun (and funny) to be around, and all that… I wouldn’t mind not being so concerned with what other people think of me, but what about what I think of myself? I kinda like who I am and I don’t think I would want to find out that the laid back, funny person I am now is completely tied to my weight and it will go away if I lose weight. I realize that who I am today is largely the *result* of growing up overweight and having to develop a certain kind of personality to deal with that… but I don’t necessarily want that personality to go away with the weight. For me, I really don’t feel like that would be a gift, and I hope it doesn’t happen.

  9. Quinn says:

    Hmmmm.

    First thought, “That was never my problem, eating to “stuff” feelings of anger.”

    Then I remembered all those pints, *whole* pints!! of Haagen-Daz! And Ben&Jerry’s. And others. And each whole pint consumed at one sitting, usually after a rough day of work at a job that I hated but couldn’t see my way to leave. Or sometimes in an effort to lift the chronic depression. And we all know that depression is just another term for anger without enthusiasm, right?

    Hoo, boy.

    Since going on the much-maligned Zoloft a few years back, the depression has lifted. Now I feel my anger with enthusiasm! ūüôā

    Anger can be energizing. Gets you going on problem-solving, especially of problems you’ve been telling yourself weren’t really problems.

    Oh. And i haven’t felt the need to buy icecream for quite a while now. ūüôā

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