Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

Recent discussions with people who are battling their weight have really opened my eyes about the ways our attitudes affect our efforts, and ultimately, our success. We have all been dealt different hands in this game, with some having easier paths than others [itís all relative because none of this is easy!]. But Iím thinking that the ways we use our strengths and balance our weaknesses are the keys to sustaining us in our weight management.

There are people who blame outside forces, and end up angry and hurt, and give up out of frustration. Folks with physical limitations tend to give up on exercise, because the traditional forms are out of their reach, and then they stop trying. Others get frustrated and angry when whatís worked for awhile stops working, and they give up.

There are also some who have faith in a solution, but when it doesnít live up to their expectations, find ways to avoid answering that key question of whether or not they genuinely lived up to their side of the equation. My favorite trap: if these thin people can eat that, or sit around all weekend watching television and eating popcorn, why canít I?

Now before you get the idea that Iím pointing fingers everywhere but at myself, let me just say that Iíve battled, and continue to battle, each and every one of these issues. Thatís why I was able to write those paragraphs in less than 5 minutes!!

But there comes a point when all that energy we put into looking for external reasons needs to turn inward. I started taking a look at MYSELF Ė at how I felt physically and emotionally Ė as I ate, moved, breathed, interacted with people. I finally saw just how much emotion I was swallowing with the food, and the connection between stress and eating Ė that light switch. And I found out that movement REALLY helped, not only with burning calories and overall fitness, but with physically separating me from whatever was stressful.

And my attitude changed, and along with it came the realization that my life-long stubbornness and obstinacy would be the strengths that would see me through this. Iíd used these strengths to get me through a lot over the years, but Iíd never used them for weight control. If anything, Iíd used them to avoid dealing with the issue.

The answer to this struggle is in ourselves. We can turn to others for help, advice, support, wisdom, skills, etc. But in the final analysis, itís our willingness to gently, kindly, humbly, examine ourselves and adjust our attitudes.

2 thoughts on “Attitude is Everything

  1. Diane says:

    How do you get to the point where you believe you will succeed *this* time? How do you put all the past failures behind and somehow believe it’s worth it to try again? How do you get rid of the why-bother-it’s- not-going-to-work-anyway attitude? How do you find the courage to face AGAIN the risk of disappointing yourself and everyone else who wants you to lose weight?

  2. jane says:

    Diane..

    You’ve asked the $64,000 question, and if there were a one-size-fits-all answer, the person who came up with it would be a bazillionaire!

    For me, and just me, it was teeny tiny changes. My attitude became that ancient Chinese saying about the longest journey beginning with a single step. And I didn’t look farther than a single day. Long-term was just way more than I could handle at that point.

    Not thinking about it as a diet, but rather as the way I was going to do things TODAY. Something had to change, and I viewed any change as positive. And there wasn’t any real need to share what i was doing with anyone else.

    Let’s say that you’re not going to lose weight no matter what you do [and at that point, surgery might be worth considering – but not for everyone]. At the very least, you’d be making some change that’ll lead to improved health.

    I hope I’m not making this sound easy or simple. It’s not. Looking inward is difficult. Connecting my feelings with what I’m eating is just about the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s NEVER over. But I’m beginning to believe that it’s something just about everyone has to deal with, no matter what their weight is.

    And every once in awhile, I think about one of my dearest friends, a lifelong anorexic. We are mirror images of each other. When she is having emotional issues, she won’t eat. She LIKES the feeling of emptiness. I don’t.

    I’m sorry if I haven’t answered your question directly. But maybe it’s a start…

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