Last night I walked home in the rain, because its May, this is Northern California, and its supposed to be dry this time of year! Its funny, I could have taken the subway and then caught a bus home, but since I always walk it just seemed normal and natural to keep doing it. Since I had neither a coat nor an umbrella, I looked and felt like a drowned rat by the time I got home. Iím glad that walking is such an important habit of mine that I donít want to give it up, even when its illogical.
About half-way home last night, I paused by a small bookstore, and gazed in longingly at the patrons who were browsing near the window. To me there is something seductive about those shelves and shelves of books, and last night the warm glow of the storeís lights seemed especially inviting. But I didnít stop in. The thought in the back of my mind was Ďas soon as I get home Iím going to shower and eat something to make myself feel all better.í So I kept marching onward.
Ironically, after showering and having some comfort food, I realized that I had nothing to do. I work two jobs and had been to the gym at lunchtime, so I was genuinely tired and needed to relax a bit before bedtime. And then it dawned on me. If I had simply taken the time to stop in and get a book, not only would I have enjoyed being in the store, I would have wound up at home with something to do for entertainment other than eat.
Sometimes I think life would be so much better if I could just get all my good habits sorted out and lined up so that I didnít have to deal with the bad ones. Walking good. Reading good. Overeating from boredom, not good.
I guess thatís why they call this a process.