Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

It’s true that I don’t get out much, but Sunday was special. A friend’s son graduated from high school, and he’s been a favorite since I met him 15 years ago. At the age of 5, he was diagnosed with leukemia, and endured the chemotherapy. And now that he’s graduated from high school, it was time for a lovely celebration.

Both sides of his family were there. For as long as I’ve known these people, they’ve all welcomed me with open arms, and full plates of food. They knew me when I weighed 500 pounds, and they’ve been astonished at the weight loss and maintenance as they’ve stood by me over the past few years. They have been wonderful, loving supportive friends.

So there we all were at the restaurant, a lovely sit-down luncheon, and out came huge platters of food, with more than enough for everyone to have seconds on the appetizers alone. One of the family members – a matriarch on one side of the family – was kind enough to serve me. I thanked her after she put a taste of this, and a taste of that on my plate. She didn’t believe me. I told her again [politely, honest!]. She still insisted.

Finally, I grabbed her arm and said, ‘Stop this. I have everything I need. I can’t eat any more. We don’t want me to weigh 500 pounds again, do we?’

That seemed to shake her up, and she put down the serving spoon [thank goodness!]. But what surprised me the most was that she seemed to come out of some sort of trance! She was in ‘serving food’ mode, and nothing was going to get in her way!

What is this about hosting and serving? Why don’t we back down when someone indicates that they have been adequately served, that they have what they want? Why do we insist that they take more?

In the pre-surgery days, I truly equated food with love, and if people around me weren’t well fed or even overfed, I wasn’t showing my love. If there were leftovers, I didn’t feel offended – exactly – but I wondered if they like the food. Even though I mentally went through serving sizes – 3-4 oz of protein per serving total, including the appetizers, etc – I always added extra, and wanted people to eat it. But these days, when someone I’m serving indicates that they have enough, I say something like ‘are you sure?’ and their answer ends the discussion, whether they want a bit more or not.

The fact that I was seated next to this kind, warm woman, and across from her niece, one of my best friends, was quite enough love for me. The broiled shrimp appetizer was just a bonus.

As an interesting postscript, the appetizer platters at my end of the table were not entirely eaten. But from the other end of the table, the other side of the family cleaned off their platters, and got up and snagged the others! Guess which side of the family has the major weight issues?

5 thoughts on “Sunday Celebration Dinner

  1. syd says:

    I have a relative like that, of course on the one hand she encourages me to lose weight and can be critical of my weight. On the other hand when she has something she wants me to try, she’s relentless. “Oh just one slice. It’s so good” etc. Mixed signals.

  2. Robin says:

    I love this. I am going to come back and read more. I’ve started my own journal we’ll see where it goes

  3. Stretchy says:

    My adult kids interrupt workouts, (I have learned over time that it is better to ignore them than to discuss this with them) They will have a sudden need to come & ask me vague questions, or laugh at the workout DVD.

    (Imagine doing Tai Chi while praying the cookie munching person who has wandered into YOUR room to simply STARE at you will get bored very soon & go away.)

    They SAY they understand that I don’t want my jeans to get tighter, but only my husband understands—

    The tightening of jeans is a “morsel by morsel” process, excelerated by skipped workouts.

    I work out at sunrise a lot, while they are still asleep!

  4. Cricket says:

    I am so glad I found your site 🙂 I know all too well how the well-meaning intentions of my family and friends have helped play a role in sabotoging my success with my weight over the years. I just never thought to just say “no” the way you did! BRAVO!

  5. Stretchy says:

    We can make a list of “Things NOT to say to me” and give it to relatives. I started a list, please add to it.
    Do NOT say / ask the following:

    1. You are FINE the way you are.

    2. Wow, you’re eating WAY TOO MUCH salad.

    3. Drinking expensive bottled water is stupid.

    4. Your diet plan seems unhealthy to me.

    5. You were more fun when you were drinking! C’mon, one rum & coke won’t kill you, grumpy!

    6. There are NO nutrients in a salad!

    7. I bought you those danishes you love, it is high time you had a treat!

    9. You’re spending too much time at the gym.

    10. Hey this NY Super Fudge Chunk Ice cream is sooo good, yum yum yum…want some?

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