Over the past three months, I have gradually whittled my weight down, ounce by ounce, losing a total of four pounds on my journey back to my healthy goal. This morning, however, I went to my weight support group and found that I had actually gained all four pounds back. Man, was that a bummer.
Last week I was feeling sick, and so I spent a lot of the week ‘medicating’ myself with food. My work-stress level was also through the roof, which sent me even deeper into the junk food bin. I was also slightly less active than usual, due to a tighter-than-normal schedule.
My first thought as I left the meeting was to drive straight to the closest coffee bar and drown myself in refined-carb pastry! It was a decision borne of anger, frustration, desperation and resignation. As I walked through the parking lot, however, I was saved.
Sitting outside was a member from my meeting. I noticed she had left early and in a hurry and I thought she seemed late for an appointment. But she was there alone, quietly sipping a cup of coffee. Interestingly, I’ve observed her distantly for about a year now, and she appears to be exactly the same weight (fairly heavy). She appears a little frustrated and somewhat bored with the whole group thing.
Seeing her made me literally stop in my tracks. I suddenly realized that I had a choice. I could do what she is doing and pretty much give up, or I could make my own decision to stay in the game. I walked into the coffee shop and stared into the pastry case, and suddenly those brightly colored, sugary, glucose-spiking treats seemed to lose much of their allure. I ordered a black coffee and left.
I’ve made a list of things to do this week – eat two pieces of fruit every day; sit while eating; concentrate on what it feels like to be comfortable before, during and after every meal; forgive myself. Oh, and go back to get weighed next week.