At the rate things are going, this will be the week I snap. Deadlines at work, bronchitis, the Alzheimerís mom, holiday preparations, extra traffic, a caregiver who decided to take the next 4 weeks off with a few hoursí notice, trying to find someone to hook my real house up to the townís new sewers even though the ground is frozen Ė itís all just too much.
And my reaction today has been to eat. Itís been ugly, especially because I canít really tell you what Iíve eaten. Unconscious eating is dangerous, and the realization of this is whatís making me focus now. It was so comforting, and felt so secure, even though it felt a bit unusual, since it so rarely happens. Whatís important for right now Ė and tomorrow Ė is to figure out how to recapture that secure, comforting feeling.
So, where to start? First choice was about logistics, with the agency that provides Momís caregiver. A new one is starting tomorrow. What a relief!
Next, the bronchitis. Iíve been to the doctorís, and I have what I need, except sleep. As soon as I write this, Iím going to bed. OK. Two items down. Whatís next?
Traffic is beyond my control. But the holiday preparations are another story. This year, people are getting gift certificates, and baking will be minimal. Itís chocolate making season, but Iím not going to do them until I regain some balance. Still have to make arrangements for the dog over the holiday, but either the kennel or the vet will take good care of her.
The sewers? Well, I have a list of possibilities. Deadlines at work? Challenging, but other resources are available and will have to be called in.
Where does this leave me? Tired, but with a plan. Systematically, step by step, taking care of business, regaining control and balance.
No promises about tomorrow, but maybe Ė just maybe Ė Iíll focus more on drinking water than on eating, and on doing things rather than worrying about them. If the Ďsnapí can be delayed, maybe it can be avoided. Writing this down has helped. Iíll let you know how things go.