Skinny Daily Post

Invincible.

There have been some interesting conversations with people over the past few weeks, and they’ve made me think about what I’ve been calling the ‘fat personality.’ Doesn’t sound pretty, does it?

I’ll admit, however, that it might not be a ‘fat’ personality, but rather the result of something else, although I have no real idea. Some traits:

• scheduling everything for everyone, except ourselves
• being so overwhelmed by all the details that we have trouble doing anything at all
• food is accessible and an easy way to soothe, comfort, distract, and deal
• exercise is nearly impossible to schedule, and difficult to do
• exhaustion
• everyone else is worth the effort, but not ourselves

If we were being very judgmental, we might say that these are just excuses, but frankly, we know better.

The reality is that taking care of ourselves just doesn’t come naturally. It’s hard. So many of us are caught in the middle of demands on our time and emotions, and we take the stress and confusion out on ourselves. We end up feeling helpless, angry, and out of control. The end result often seems to be a form of helplessness and despair that permeates all aspects of our lives, from friendships to marriages, from school to the workplace. We deserve better, and we need to figure out how to convince ourselves that we do.

One of the conversations I referred to at the beginning of this posdt was with a woman who has lost about 25 pounds by watching her diet. Our discussion focused on the idea that she’s not making the time to exercise. I have hopes for her success.

Another conversation was with a woman who is so overwhelmed by finances, work, family, and all other aspects of her life that she has trouble holding it all together. In my view, her first priority probably shouldn’t be her weight. But, any step that she takes to get control of her life will be positive.

I saw myself in both of these women.

5 thoughts on “Fat Traits

  1. h says:

    While some people definitely don’t hold their own needs over those of others, and suffer some consequences for it, I wouldn’t say that it’s a universal trait for those of us who struggle with our weight.

    I make myself a priority every minute of the day. I seek out fresh healthy food for myself, I will pay more for it, I leave work “early” or skip out on socializing to work out. Yet I struggle with stress and emotional eating. Not because I don’t love myself, but because I DO and I feel like I “deserve” that quick sugar-endorphin-rush. Nevermind the stomach ache and bloat and weight gain that comes later if I indulge too often.

    In other words, I’m not sure how useful it is to try to come up with ways in which we are all similar. We aren’t, really. What I love most about reading Skinny Daily Post is that I can pull out the moments and threads of thought that resonate with me and incorporate thet lessons you all learn into my life and path and struggle. But everyone of us will pick up on different aspects of the stories told here.

  2. contessa says:

    These are traits that I have for sure, and it is only when I make myself a priority that I can shed weight.

    I know thin people who have the same traits and although they carry no extra weight, it is obvious that they are not healthy either.

  3. stretchy says:

    Like Contessa, I also know thin people who run around doing everything for others, never stopping to do much for themselves. They are stressed to the very limits and are miserable. I’m not sure if their thinness is because everyone else is worth the effort except themselves. They are “too busy” to sit down, relax, and eat. They are “too busy” to stop into a diner and eat. They tend to just grab whatever food is handy on their way to helping someone or running yet another errand.

    I would like to see these people relax, and gain some healthy weight, and not look guant and tired all of the time, as they go, go, go.

  4. Marilyn says:

    Another “fat personality” trait that I carry is the “be overly nice and friendly to everyone so they will like me” syndrome. I was a very heavy child and in those days there were not very many overweight children (like there are now, unfortunately). Everyone else in elementary, junior high and high school seemed skinny and having the experiences I didn’t–like dating, having lots of popular friends, etc. That “syndrome” carried over into my adult life so that I am always more concerned about and “friendly” with everyone but myself. I have never gotten over the idea that I was fat–body image wise–even though the scale and my clothes say that I am not. I don’t know if I ever will. But I do know that I am healthy and that is what I have to concentrate on, along with trying to be my own best friend.

  5. kirsty says:

    Realise that your body and mind are one. Are one biochemical system, that is. The body needs good food and decent activity levels or it indicates its unhappiness – i.e. *you* need this or *you* are unhappy.

    It’s not the events or circumstances – think of how life is when you are cheerful – everything seems a breeze, doesn’t it?

    It’s the the effects of what is circulating in your bloodstream, affecting your mood and thoughts, casting that gloomy spell over everything.

    Sort out your nutrition and exercise and the right sort of chemicals will start circulating, your mood will lift and you will be able to do more, feel like doing more and that will just make you feel even better…

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