(Ed note: Hey folks, loooong time SDP pal, Jonquil, has graciously agreed to appearances as guest host here at SDP. If you’ve been here a long while, she needs no introduction. If you’re new around here, just know Jonquil has worked long, hard, and successfully at making her body healthy and strong and keeping it that way. She’s one of the stars of the comments engine at SDP. Oh, and she’s really smart and wise and funny too.)
guest post by Jonquil
I’ve changed insurance, which means a new doctor, checkup, tests. The results: total cholesterol 164, HDL 56. Blood pressure, 90/70. Resting pulse, 50. Fasting glucose, testosterone, kidney function, liver function, all normal.
Except for my thyroid test. I may be low on iodine, since I’ve cut back on salt, and a multivitamin/mineral pill could fix it. Or it could be menopause. So I’ll take the vitamin and retest. If I’m still out of the “normal” range, I might be hypothyroid, with a slowing metabolism, and that might account for “the last ten pounds.” You know what I’m talking about. The ten the government thinks I should lose, despite all my good health numbers, despite the weight I’ve already lost, and kept off. Ten pounds: the difference between “normal” and “overweight,” according to the Body Mass Index.
So why not get a prescription right away? There it is, the magic diet pill everybody wants. Pop the pill, and soon I’m buying single digit size Levis. I might even get big hair and dragon-lady nails. But this is no vitamin, baby. Hormones can screw up your metabolism, they can kill you. And it’s all so political, women and hormone pills. BCP, growth hormone, HRT. “Take this. You’ll feel better, look younger. You’ll be more feminine, slimmer, sexier.”
Even if I’m not hypo, the BMI says I’m not completely healthy. Even if my tests are fabulous, I can run for miles, toss the caber, juggle tractors, whatever. I’ll still feel the pressure of those tight jeans. Lose weight. Fit in. Be normal.